Open Up!

To my two fans that read this. I guess I'm just going to talk about blowjobs. To make this world a better place, people should constantly be giving and receiving blowjobs. You don't need money or health because those things fluctuate. What you need is your dick licked and sucked as often as possible. Blow your load wherever you can as well. On the floor, on the knob of your neighbors car door, or even in your mother's chicken noodle soup.

None of this matters so if you happen to receive a blowjob while on the toilet, try blowing your load at the same time as dropping your load. If successful blog about it, then contact the Guinness Book of Records. Handjobs won't work because it won't produce the same effect. Try giving blowjobs too, that will help if you have problems swallowing pills (like me). There is nothing wrong with the taste of sweet treats.

Blowjobs (giving/receiving) will relieve stress and take your mind off things. It's like yoga, only while performing the Flying Scrotum in class you can give someone a blowjob to see if they hold their balance. Then contact the Guinness Book of Records.

No one is going to read this, but I hope to find semen in my desk when I get to work tomorrow. Good job everyone. We can all release!