I hope the expression “Food for Thought” didn’t come from a bunch of selfish ass-bags who think bringing desserts to work for coworkers is actually thoughtful. First of all, please help me fathom the understanding of why you have this urge to bring in dessert for those you work with? Do you just sit there at your desk fantasizing what our faces would look like to have cookies forced upon us? In retrospect, this is the opposite of being nice. Now we either have to eat this puke provoking baked good or we have to think of a way to decline it without hurting your precious feelings. Some of you people are such pricks that you don’t even bake the product they just stop by a store and buy it to bring in.
Second of all, why are you wasting time baking sweet treats? Is it out of hobby or is there something you are expecting to get from this? It’s not just being genuinely nice because there’s not a request for highly caloric, artery clogging, sugary snacks. Where’s the fucking milk by the way? I will say this, it’s funny watching people quarrel with their will power about whether they should have another piece of cake or not. They usually debate for about an hour and give in only to feel disgusting afterwards.
This brings me to point number 3, after college or high school (or whenever you realized that classrooms were only good for living out sex fantasies) one falls into the routine of sitting at a desk from 9 to 5 and then relaxes when returning home. This motivating schedule doesn’t save much room for being active. So they rely on trying forty to fifty types of dieting to help them lose the weight they gained. These people cannot afford to be handed these treats, so just stop bringing them in. If niceness is what you are aiming for, it might be better to Stuff a Bus instead of stuffing people that may not even really like you. Next time, try bringing in pens or something that we'd actually use, thanks.
Love,
Mark
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